A glimpse into my prayer journal. Since 2016 I’ve had a prayer in the back of my mind that I am frequently reminded of…to be more gentle.
I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m reminded 🙄… let me just say, no one would ever describe me as “gentle”. I know as a nurse, I have been described as being kind and compassionate, but gentle? Not so much…nurse or not.
When I was a small child, I was tall and skinny and awkward. My grandmother used to call me “grace”…I could trip over nothing but my own two feet. She said I was like a bull in a china cabinet. I never liked it when she said those things…I felt embarrassed and more awkward. I learned to shrug it off but deep down I think it hurt. I wanted to be graceful and gentle. I wanted to be anything other than what I was, which seemed like a disappointment.
Today I know it wasn’t her intent to hurt me. I love my grandma and I know she loved me; may she Rest In Peace. Today I also know that my identity is grounded in what Jesus says and not what anyone else says. I know that when I said yes to Him, He spoke gentleness into my heart, giving me the desire to be gentle. He’s still working on me, gentleness is not my “go to” way of life but it is in my heart and in my mind now to treat others with gentleness. I fail…often. But it’s refreshing to me to know that His mercies are new each morning! I can keep moving forward in the knowledge that I am accepted in Him and forward movement is progress.
We are all fragile…like jars of clay. We are easily fractured and broken. But when we accept Jesus, we have this treasure within us. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit producing His good fruit in and through us. Today I will ask the Lord to produce gentleness within me. I will put to rest that old self, my fleshly self that can be easily offended and sometimes replies with a harsh word. I want to experience gentleness in my life. I want the rest of my life to look different…I want to be remembered for gentleness.