I was anything but kind tonight. Someone I love and care deeply about did something nice for me but I questioned the motive behind the jesture and lashed out harshly. I recognize now it wasn’t her jesture I was upset about but my own inadequacy and selfish behavior.
When will I learn not to let my circumstances dictate my feelings and especially my behavior? How many times must I circle this mountain of pride Lord? Why does submission to Your way seem so hard sometimes? In my quiet times with You, I feel strengthened and encouraged to live as Christ would. To be kind and compassionate towards others. To give grace and show mercy; to love as You love…and then I step out the door. And BOOM! It’s me again. Where is my patience? Where is my joy? Why am I defensive? Why am I hateful?
Why do I feel like I have to be perfect? I want to represent You well…how can I do that when I give in to such harshness towards someone I love? Lord, help me to see others the way you see them. I know Your love for each of us is immeasurable. Give me a new revelation of how to love like You love. That is my prayer, Lord. In the words of Toby Mac, help me to build others up and not tear them down. Show me the way Lord. Amen.